Who,s going to humour me,I know Odin and Brian will.Inspired by Odins memory of quotes I,ve got a bottle of the planets best vodka on offer to the person who comes up with the best Allstar quote and another bottle to who ever made the quote.The quote doesn,t have to be fact but an Allstar myth thats become a fact. I,ve got a surprise judge and I,ll give the bottles out in September or if the winners are not there I,ll post them.If I win either I,ll give mine to the M,V,P, ALLSTAR backroom person,and there are enough of them to choose from.     If nobody wants to play I,ll be forced to drink them myself.                                                                                                     I,ll kick off.         1984 I took part in the John O Groutes to Lands end run with my jaw wired up,most of the time I was off my head on pain killers and beer but on the way back to Manchester after the run I noticed Eddy had half a brick,apparently he,ld had it all the run.When I asked him why he,ld got it he said ,TO SMASH YOUR TEETH IN IF YOU WERE SICK.And he wasn,t jocking.           

Hank,

I've gotta finish with this one.....

BORROWING THE MINI-BAR IN PARIS

We'd played the Paris Allstars in March/April 1988. We stayed in a nice place (did we ever pay that bill?)

Me and you got up as late as we possibly could on the morning of departure.

As we were so late, one of the hotel staff came into our room, checked off what we had used and then RE-STOCKED THE MINI-BAR IN FRONT OF US.

When he had gone, we both looked at each other and decided to break open the mini-bar lock and empty it's contents into our bags. 

We planned it so we left ourselves only a couple of minutes from leaving the hotel to getting on the team bus (coach). The hotel staff wouldn't discover what we had done until we were long gone.........

So, we filled our bags and did one to the bus. Everyone was on the coach apart from OZZIE.

Well, for some reason Ozzie was in the hotel foyer dragging his feet.

The conversation between us and Ozzie then went like this;

' Ozzie, come on,we're going now.'

' Ozzie, come on, we've got to go.'

' Ozzie, hurry up and get on the coach.'

'OZZIE, COME ON, GET ON THE BUS WE'RE GOING!'

'OZZIE, GET ON THE BUS!' 'FFS, IF HE DOESN'T GET ON THE BUS WE'LL BE SUSSED!'

'FOR F***'S  SAKE OZZIE, GET ON THE BUS NOW!'

'OZZIE, IF YOU DON'T GET ON THIS F****** COACH RIGHT NOW WE'RE GONNA DRAG YOU ON THE F****** THING!'

So Ozzie eventually pipes up 'O.K man, I'm coming' and we get him on the bus.........

The bus moves off with everyone on board, and me and Hank start cheering.

Dave Watterson says 'What's going on lads?', and we tell him and everyone nearby that we've done the mini-bar and got away with it.

'Oh is that all? We've all done that!'

AND EVERYONE ON THE BUS HAD!     

Allstars............brilliant days. 

This as just come to mind,i dont know why but towards the end of the allstars i had more beer in my kit bag than i had kit !!!

You bastard had turned me into a beer monster 

                    David................

Odin my poor mam has to put up with a lot ,remember there are 4 of us brothers .She didn,t finish typing the book because somewhere along the process of me writing it I turned into a cross between George Clooney,Rambo and Big Yin,and it just was becoming unbelievable.

Quote as I remember it. A classic.

1986 the new game shirts had arrived (millionaire logo on)

In the changing room we are all putting them on. Someone shouts which way round do they go? A voice from the back of the changing room shouts "the name goes at the back Lee"!!!

Belle Vue the day the new posts were put up. Several of us dug massive holes to put the new yellow posts in. We all stood back to admire the work Dave Leach said thats great that should do the trick. 10 seconds later the post fell over onto Ben Fitzpatric. It was his rookie year and I think his first game.

Playing agains Leicester at Boundary Park. On the goal line. Les Wallace was in on defence. Norman Green got in in the corner. The Back Judge signalled TD. The away supporters went mad. Les said to me "did he score" I said yes he said "its all f**kries this game init".

Hank in Dunoon to a large lady "you dont sweat a lot for a fat bird". 

In France the copper arresting Hank. He was cuffed behind his back and the copper had his hands pushed right up. He sprayed Hank with CS spray which made him struggle more. The copper said "so you play american football you pig" - then started jumping on his feet. He turned out to be one of their running backs and I managed to knock his lights out in the game the day after.

I am sure more will come to mind.

Brian.

Hank,

what about.

'Right, now you get your arse bit!'

You referred to it in another post.

Dave,

I kinda remember me, you and Hank looking for a restaurant in Paris.

We weren't sure where to go until we saw a bloke being thrown out of a place - so we decided that would be the best one to go to!

Hi Odinn, I was amazed to learn you was still alive, thought you would have done a Jim Morisson (Doors) type exit long ago! Yes I remember the meat incident, it was in the hotel the night before Bud bowl. At the carvery the guy cutting asked me what you quoted, I replied "as thick as possible and as f*****g fast as you can. He was all smartly dressed and wearing a dicky bow,after about half an hour, when most of the lads had been back for 2nds and 3rds, he looked like he had been in a tumble dryer with a load of dead cats, his dicky bow was all over the place, he was full of grease and totally pissed off!...superb.  Paris was great too, the poor frogs were totally ripped off, I was still bladderd from the night before, having been up all night with Boomer, Fred and a few others boozing and absoloutly nackerd when I got on the coach........ priceless days.   anyway odinn, great to see you have a `Bonzer` family... best wishes  Mike Dickinson.