Fletch
Registered: 06/06/06
Posts: 860
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Reply with quote | #76 |
A few more funnies to bring a smile to your faces.
Fancy Dress Number 1
Fancy Dress number 2
Fancy dress number 3
Do you laugh or cry???????
A real man!!!!!!
Chat Rooms!!!!!
Why they call it the Monkeys Head.
Piss Off Kid I'm busy!!!
You've got the job!!!!!
Hope you had a good laugh.
Fletch
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Brian28
Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 723
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Reply with quote | #77 |
Heres one lads.
Two sperm swimming along. One says to the other "how far to the fallopian tubes"?
The other says "F*cking miles mate we have only just passed the tonsils".
Brian.
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Fletch
Registered: 06/06/06
Posts: 860
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Reply with quote | #78 |
And they just keep on coming.........................................
Heather Mills's pussy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We will all be doing this soon!!!!
And for Jim Blinkhorn (cant believe he is 50!!!!)
Fletch
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Fletch
Registered: 06/06/06
Posts: 860
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Reply with quote | #79 |
If there was one place I never thought I would see an American Football game it was Turkey but when we went on holiday I found a team training!!! I have since found that the game is quite big (about the same as the UK) and here is a link to the 2005/2006 Final and its not a bad standard.....go figure!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDhMa9qBFmw&mode=related&search=
Fletch
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Fletch
Registered: 06/06/06
Posts: 860
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Reply with quote | #80 |
This is so funny.......... its from 1986 and a team called the Glasgow Diamonds (do you remember them?) it is everything hilarious about the 80's cheesy tunes and 80's porno mustache's (Dave Hughes!!!) have a look at it and see what you think.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utsHE5xWges
Fletch
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Brian28
Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 723
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Reply with quote | #81 |
Carl,
Cheesy is the word. Almost as cheesy as the following (or is it fishy) someone sent me.
In the middle of an international gynecology conference, an English and a French gynecologist are discussing various cases they've recently treated.
French Gynecologist : "Only last week, zer was a woman ooh came to see me, and 'er cleetoris - eet was like a melon."
English Gynecologist : "Don't be absurd, it couldn't have been that big, my good man, she couldn't have been able to walk if it was."
French Gynecologist : "Aaah, you eenglish, zare you go again, always talkeeng about ze size... I was talkeeng about ze flavor..."
Brian.
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DirtyLeeds
Registered: 01/02/07
Posts: 131
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Brian28
Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 723
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Reply with quote | #83 |
Not the best ever
Subject: THE FIVE AFFAIRS
The First Affair
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" his wife demanded. "I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."
She looked down at his shoes and said: "You're lying ! You've been playing golf again!"
The 2nd Affair
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied: "Not this time!"
The 3rd Affair
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
"I' m sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity." So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
"I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead!"
The 4th Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue," she replied, "the Smiths bought one and I liked it, so I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing."
The 5th Affair
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly: "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister", your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know," she replied, "now just rest and let the poison work."
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DAVEL
Registered: 07/21/06
Posts: 160
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Reply with quote | #84 |
A manc, a scouser and a Jamaican are all in the waiting room at the maternity ward awaiting the birth of their children, the nurse walks into the room and says they are sorry but they have mixed up the babies and could the fathers please come through and idenyify the babies. First in like a bullet from a gun is the Manc who picks up the black baby and claims it has his. "Dont be stupid" says the Jamaican, the black child is obviouly mine. "Piss off" says the Manc, "one of those other two is a scouser and I am not taking any chances!"
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ianuk
Registered: 01/04/07
Posts: 340
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Brian28
Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 723
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Brian28
Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 723
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Reply with quote | #87 |
Quote: Originally Posted by Brian28 A. I dont know. But when I tried to send it, it was really funny - honest. |
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Brian28
Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 723
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Reply with quote | #88 |
If anybody wants a copy send me a PM with yoy e-mail and I will forward it too you.
Brian.
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Dave7
Registered: 06/09/06
Posts: 162
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STiDavid
Registered: 08/05/06
Posts: 356
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